Friendships and romantic relationships share several things in
common, like: a desire to be cared about; companionship; sharing of hobbies and
common activities; and a support system.
However, in a romantic relationship (especially a marriage) there
is a different level of commitment. When a friend says, “That’s it, we’re
done!” there’s a good chance the friendship is really over. In a marriage, this
might be something that leads to more discussion and an eventual resolution.
Friendships are almost more fragile than a marriage because there is no formal
commitment or bringing together of families.
So many of us are independent and think that friends are a luxury,
or people that we spend time with for fun or when we have time. But friends are
a vital part of our well-being. They can give us support, keep us in check,
provide a safe place for us to be ourselves, and encourage us to grow.
The first step is simply to just meet more people. Getting out and
trying new activities that have you interacting with people, like classes or
volunteering, is a great way to be social even if you haven’t established deep
connections with people yet.
Then, do the hard work of getting to know people. There is no
shortcut to this. Ask them to coffee or lunch, follow up, and proactively learn
more about the folks you’re in contact with. Eventually a bond will happen.
Hope this helps.
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